


The Incident at Three Past Noon

by parahelios



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alcohol Mention in End Notes, Cleaning Kink, Clothing Kink, Comedy, Cringe, Epistolary, Implied Masturbation, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Blue Lions Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Sylvain Jose Gautier's Forearms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26481949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parahelios/pseuds/parahelios
Summary: "You see, I was looking for His Majesty," (he nods his head in Dimitri's direction) "when I came upon an interesting sight in his chambers.""My chambers?" Dimitri repeats, perplexed. "What did you find in my chambers?"Sylvain levels a long look at Dimitri, and then shifts it to Felix, who seems to finally realize what Sylvain is getting at when his suspicious stare shifts into one of wide-eyed horror and he kicks Sylvain under the table."Don't youdare," he hisses under his breath."Sylvain, what did you find in my chambers?" asks Dimitri, louder.Or: Before they invented texting, a single messenger boy named Peplin had his work cut out for him. This is his story.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Sylvain Jose Gautier & Dedue Molinaro
Comments: 16
Kudos: 66





	The Incident at Three Past Noon

Dear Miss Hiltrude,

It has come to my attention that there was an incident with His Majesty's personal garments in his chambers at approximately three past noon today. I would strongly suggest to the cleaning staff to wear gloves when gathering the affected items. The Margrave has advised me to advise you that a cold water pre-wash would be most effective and will be offering his time to assist and supervise.

Sincerely,  
Dedue Molinaro

*

Dear Dedue,

We received your notice and His Majesty's garments have been removed from his chambers for cleaning as instructed.

I am sending this message to request your assistance with a small issue that we believe you would be best suited to handle. We attempted to decline the Margrave's assistance with the laundry, believing it to be below his station, but he insisted that this was an area of his specialty. However, he has become somewhat of a distraction with many of the younger female members of the staff, and it is affecting their ability to effectively perform their duties.

If you have the time, I would greatly appreciate your help with redirecting the Margrave's attention so that we can complete the rest of the day's tasks without further delay.

Yours respectfully,  
Hiltrude

*

Sylvain,

I have been informed that your presence in the laundry room is causing a disruption among the staff. If you would like to be of help elsewhere, I believe His Majesty's study could use a thorough dusting. I would most appreciate your assistance with reorganizing the bookshelves, as I recall that to be an activity you were fond of back in our school days.

Sincerely,  
Dedue

*

My dearest Dedue,

I will be more than happy to join you in the study as soon as I am done in the laundry room, which should take no longer than twenty minutes by the time you have received this correspondence. I promise you that I am trying my very best to focus on my work to avoid being a nuisance, but there is only so much I can do when it comes to the wandering, lustful gaze of a youthful maiden upon my glistening forearms as I scrub the unspeakable from His Majesty's royal négligée. I will apologize to Miss Hiltrude personally and ensure that the girls are not punished for their helpless (understandable) desire.

With love,  
Sylvain

*

The dining room in Castle Fhirdiad is filled with an eerie silence for about six minutes before Felix gives in and breaks it.

"All right. I've had enough. Tell me why you have that stupid grin on your face."

Sylvain's grin widens. "What can I say? I've had a fun day."

"Don't tell me you spent all day at the tavern," says Felix, exasperated.

"Dedue," says Sylvain, "did I go down to the tavern?"

Dedue sets his cutlery down with a sigh. "No, Sylvain. You did not."

"See?" says Sylvain. "No tavern. I actually haven't left the castle since I arrived this morning. You see, I was looking for His Majesty," (he nods his head in Dimitri's direction) "when I came upon an interesting sight in his chambers."

"My chambers?" Dimitri repeats, perplexed. "What did you find in my chambers?"

Sylvain levels a long look at Dimitri, and then shifts it to Felix, who seems to finally realize what Sylvain is getting at when his suspicious stare shifts into one of wide-eyed horror and he kicks Sylvain under the table.

"Don't you _dare_ ," he hisses under his breath.

"Sylvain, what did you find in my chambers?" asks Dimitri, louder.

"You know what, it occurs to me that this story might not be polite dinner conversation," says Sylvain cheerfully, picking up his fork and beginning to dig into his meal. "I'll fill you in another time, Your Majesty. So, who wants to go to the tavern later?"

*

"Good evening, Your Majesty," greets Hiltrude with a respectful bow when Dimitri passes her on his way back to his chambers.

"Good evening, Hiltrude," he returns kindly. "All is well tonight, I hope?"

"All is well," she confirms. "Your clothes are hung by the hearth and should be dry by morning. Will you be requiring anything else tonight, sire?"

"No, no, that will be all. Thank you."

Hiltrude bows once more and takes her leave.

Dimitri enters his chambers with perhaps an overabundance of caution, given that he still does not know what Sylvain could have possibly discovered there earlier; after dinner, he had departed to the tavern before Dimitri could ask again, somehow with Dedue and Felix both in tow. But aside from his clothes moving from the laundry basket to the line in front of the hearth, the room appears to be in the same condition he had left it in that morning.

How odd.

Setting aside the matter for another time, Dimitri sheds the day's kingly attire and begins his usual routine of putting out the candles Hiltrude had left for him. When the only light coming into the room is that of the moon through the windows and the low-burning flames of the hearth, he climbs into bed, settling back comfortably and extracting a familiar black tunic from beneath the pillows. He brings it up to his nose and inhales deeply.

"Mmm, Felix," he murmurs to himself in the dark, before slowly reaching down between his legs.

**Author's Note:**

> meanwhile at the tavern, felix gets absolutely trashed and eventually admits that he did in fact have a moment of weakness and jack off into dimitri's clothes
> 
> sylvain, just a little tipsy, patting him on the back: it's ok felix we all do
> 
> dedue, stone cold sober and wishing he wasn't: we all do _not_
> 
> [on twitter](https://twitter.com/parahelios/status/1305935237139103745)


End file.
